We are all unique individuals who have lived distinct lives from one another. Who we have become is based on our experience of the world over many, many years. What was our profession? Were you married and did you have children? Did your house burn to the ground as a child?
Good Alzheimer’s care must be individualized care. The life story of an individual that lives with dementia will enable the staff to know who this person is. Knowing this life story helps develope a bond with the nursing staff and your mom. Staff may be able to understand your mom or dad’s reaction to various things in her environment by knowing her/his life experiences. Staff can then better attend to your mom or dad’s needs based on this knowledge.
Not understanding what I am talking about? Let me give you an example. Was your dad a farmer who got up at 5 a.m. each morning to milk the cows? Chances are he forgets he is now in long term care, and he will want to get up and milk the cows, not realizing he is now 85 yrs of age and a retired farmer. Staff may be able to settle him back to bed by reassuring him the cows have been taken care of.
Your mom was a registered nurse who worked in a hospital for 30 years. Now that she is in a long-term care home, she is assisting co-residents into bed, attempting to help people onto the toilet. The environment of the long-term care home can trigger her memories of caring for patients in the hospital. Maybe your mom can be given a safe role in the long-term care home helping the other residents. Could she hand out the aprons in the dining room? Could she place a hand towel and wash cloth on the end of each resident’s bed? This can give her a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of being nurturing and needed, but in a safe manner.
Mom’s house was broken into one night while she was sleeping, twenty years ago. Now it makes sense to the staff that mom is very frightened and resistive at 2 a.m. when the staff enter her room to check and make sure she is okay.
Your mom and dad’s life history and whether the events that occurred were good or bad experiences are important factors for the staff at the long-term care home to know. How they interact with your mom and dad can be based on this knowledge. Mom was a devout Catholic who never ate fish on Friday. Dad was viciously bit by a dog when he was a post man…dog therapy may frighten him.
Make a collage of photos with your mother/father that can be hung on the wall, of family, beloved pets and happy events. This way you not only spend quality time with mom reminiscing with her but also assist the staff in knowing your mom’s past. It will give people and nurses something to talk to your mom about when they enter her room. Write up a short blurb about your father’s service in the war, and his profession afterwards and place it beneath the collage. Any momentous events, such as a tragic event or specific life accomplishments, are important to share with staff at the long-term care home. This can be told privately to the nurse in charge or the administrator if you wish. This knowledge may help staff understand why mom reacts so poorly to a particular part of her basic care. Mom might be frightened of the bathtub as she had a near drowning experience as a teenager.
Some of your mom and dad’s life events may not have been shared with you. Our parents could be very private people. Think over the knowledge you have of your family member’s past. Did it have a huge impact on their life? If these life events had a huge impact on their life prior to entering a long-term care home, it will continue to have an impact on them as they enter this new phase in their life. Long term memories, especially those with deep emotional feelings, can stay with us for a lifetime. These memories can mold us into who we are and how we continue to react to further events in life.
Kathie Poitras, RPN
Psychogeriatric Resource Consultant
Alzheimer Society of Haldimand Norfolk
For more information on issues related to dementia, please call 519-428-7771 ext 520 or email me at kpoitras@alzhn.ca